Monday, 23 January 2012

Damn Machines.

In the olden days when we were cavemen and big brother was only on once a year getting up and going to work in the morning was so much simpler. The sun would come up, you put your caveman suit on, stick the kettle on, remember the kettle hasn’t been invented yet and then go out to work.

Nowadays it’s a miracle we even manage to leave the house without having an Arthur fowler type rocking chair breakdown and steal the Christmas club money. The alarm clock goes off, you spend five minutes checking the time on your phone to make sure it’s the same time as the alarm clock and stumble into the shower grumbling like a goth Boris Johnson with a Bells whisky hangover.  When you leave the bathroom, as you are halfway down the stairs, before you even set foot in the kitchen, you check your phone for text messages. Then you check your Hotmail, check you work email, check facebook, wishing people you never speak to and never intend to speak to, a happy birthday smileyfacelol, check twitter, check the online bbc news even though you are actually listening to the actuak real life news on the real life actual radio just in case the news on the radio is a rather elaborate matrix style alternate reality, check the weather on bbc, check the weather on the met office, listen to the weather on the news and this is before you even leave the house!

It wouldn’t be so bad but you then do  it all over again twenty minutes later when you get to work.

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