Each day as soon as you wake up you announce 'previously on my life' then proceed to re-enact brief snippets of the day before.
You leave the house with a slice of toast in your mouth as 'Walking On Sunshine' or the theme from Friends plays in the background.
At work you get called in to see the boss, call him Captain, accuse him of eating doughnuts whilst you are on the streets and he calls you a maverick and to get out of his office - even though you work in the Admin Dept of the Tax Office, your bosses name is Derek and he likes morris dancing.
Before going for lunch you tell the story of your incredibly tough upbringing, being raised by 3-legged blind rabbits in an allotment shed in Milton Keynes whilst Fix You by Coldplay mysteriously appears getting louder as you speak.
You come back from lunch punching the air singing Take That's 'Today this could be the greatest day of our life'.
After a Staff Meeting you tell the rest of the room to 'press the red button now for an exclusive behind the scenes look at your life'.
Rubbish comedians a la Shane Ritchie and Bobby Davro seem to start work in your building. Yes that is Joe Pasquale that started on the reception desk today.
Whenever someone says something slightly rude or strange, you find yourself turning to an imaginary camera and make a bemused face.
Before going on your annual holiday you announce to everyone that you will be back in the Autumn but people can follow your life in a series of expensive audio books available from all good retailers in the meantime.
You don't have Christmas Day but a Christmas Special, that isn't as good as a normal day, lasts twice as long and has a surprise appearance by John Barrowman singing 'Let It Snow' to your Nan.
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